I've been thinking a lot over the past couple of days. Ever since the revelation about Panic At The Disco on Monday, a lot, in my mind has changed.

First off, the whole big thing: my favorite band have split up! What do I do? I've been through a lot of emotions: I cried over it, I felt angry and ripped down everything I had to do with them, and cried some more. But then I started speculating, and thinking about how brave and confident Brendon and Spencer must be. I thought that, it would be the end and there'd be no more Panic. But, on the Northern Downpour (their fan club) everyone's been so optimistic and it's worn off on me. I'm now looking forward to August, where New Perspective, their first single as a pair will come out. Then, some songs'll be on the Jennifer's Body soundtrack, so that's exciting. In general, the fact they're continuing, regardless of the stick and the problems, is pretty freaking amazing.

I have so much faith in Brendon and Spencer. I've heard from other fans, the two of them and from Pete Wentz that the new album is going to revive A Fever You Can't Sweat Out and that in itself is gonna be amazing. So, I really still want to support them. In fact, I'm going to renew my Panic membership when it comes round. And I'm calling them Panic! now! God, I can't wait.

As for Ryan and Jon, I've heard from them and Alex Greenwald that they're already making their own music. And, I'm excited for them, but I just think they've turned into everything I dislike: pictures of Ryan with cocaine on the table in front of him. So, the drug abuse, the speculated Maruijana use and the sleeping around. It's just... no. I've lost, well, I wouldn't say respect for them, but more interest. I've lost interest in them. Yeah. Until they release music that makes me smile, I don't care.

The thing is, my involvement with the Panic At The Disco fandom, as my friends know, was pretty extreme. I even write fiction about them, and I got pretty popular for it.. but... this has been long coming, okay, not just 'cause of the split. My respect for homosexuality has become stronger, not just a little childish fantasy anymore. It doesn't turn me on any more, so what was the point? I've grown out of writing about homosexual relationships now, and Ryden is so unrealistic now that there's no need for it any more. If the band's split, how can that exist? Sure, some people could think that the band split because of their 'relationship', but I doubt it.

So, I'm not going to write fan fiction any more. I'm not going to.. think about that. I'm going to support Panic! At The Disco and whatever they do.

And, on another note!

AFI have their new album coming out. 29th September! Woop! I can't wait (:

anyhow, thanks for reading. haha.

x